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24 September 2006 @ 01:04 am
[OKHC] Financial Report, PG, Humor, Mori/Kyouya  
Financial Report
Ouran Koko Host Club, (WHATIAMSAYINGNOTHING)*, PG, 1514 words
A look at Ootori Kyouya's notebook.

*if you really squint, there could totally be Kyouya/Tamaki! because i could never abandon my otp fully; and the tags tell you anyway hahah i mean :((

Idea birthed from Mei being in her happy place (aka Kurama Japanese Restaurant with the most delicious food possible) and on crack with thyme_hawthorne.


Financial Report
by meiface


Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Host Club theme:
Arabian rajah and harem

Profit for the day:
Tamaki - 34650 yen (+10 pts)
Kyouya - 25890 yen
Haruhi - 21000 yen (+5 pts)
Hikaru and Kaoru - 19330 yen (+1 pt)
Honey - 16200 yen
Mori - 12500 yen

Costs for the day:
Hikaru and Kaoru - dry cleaning bill for sofa where customers spilled tea in overexcitement - 5600 yen (-10 pts)
Honey's cakes - 17800 yen (cut down by at least 5000 yen) (-25 pts for an ongoing problem, after 2 warnings)

Other points:
Mori for catching a customer before she hit the floor in a swoon, must use this strategy for effects in future (+5 pts)
Haruhi for securing 2 new customers (+5 pts)

Five customers expressed interest in a "Victorian London" theme. Shall look into this. Call for costume estimates.


--


Thursday, September 21, 2006
Host Club theme:
corporate businessmen

Profit for the day:
Tamaki - 32050 yen (+10 pts)
Hikaru and Kaoru - 20700 yen (+5 pts)
Mori - 19200 yen (+1 pt)
Kyouya - 19000 yen
Haruhi - 15540 yen
Honey - 14000 yen

Costs for the day:
Damaged ties from the twins' jerking around - 3000 yen (-2 pts) (Unnecessary but affordable and justifiable.)

Other points:
Cut down Honey's cake supply to 10000 yen. Result: pouting. (-5 pts)
Mori calmed down Honey. (+5 pts)
Tamaki neglected another customer to pour unwelcomed and unwarranted attentions on Haruhi. (-10 pts for repeat offense)

Twins' profit went up with "disheveled" look: loose ties and half-unbuttoned shirt.
Customers find Mori very appealing in this costume.

Called for Victorian era dress rates. At least 500,000 yen will need to be budgeted.
-begin marketing "Ouran Host Club LoveLove Autumn Special Private Photobook #2.5"
-put Tamaki in black or blue (profits increase by 4.5%)

Fittings on Monday (09.25.2006). Theme slated for Friday (09.29.2006).


--


Friday, September 22, 2006
Host Club theme:
Spanish dancers

Profit for the day:
Tamaki - 37500 yen (+10 pts)
Hikaru and Kaoru - 21800 yen (+5 pts)
Mori - 21790 yen (+1 pt)
Kyouya - 19900 yen
Honey - 18490 yen
Haruhi - 16000 yen

21 pre-orders for "Ouran Host Club LoveLove Autumn Special Private Photobook #2.5"
-at 2500 yen each, total profit of 52500 yen

Mori smiled. Customers increased by 8. - 4000 yen (Speak to him about a greater sporadic frequency. If constant, the novelty will wear off and the prices will drop.)

Costs for the day:
Ripped flamenco dancer vest from twins' roughhousing - 6500 yen (-5 pts) (Unnecessary.)

Other points:
Against my suggestion, Tamaki wore red. (-2 pts)
Haruhi refused to participate in the dancing. (-25 pts) (The customers have paid.)

Theme suggested by twins: erotic dancers.
Possible. Pros: Minimal clothing costs required. Profits would skyrocket. Cons: Haruhi. Tamaki's reaction.


--


Saturday, September 23, 2006
Third Saturday of the month. No classes.

Tamaki invited himself over at 09:30. (-25 pts for idiocy and repeat offense)
Threw pillows. Amusing windmilling-arms reaction. (+2 pts)

Spoke to Mori. Have come to agreement to increase sporadic smiles by 30%.
Very agreeable. (+5 pts)
Asked for 2000 yen increase to Honey's cake budget. Granted.

Hikaru called. Wants to know about erotic dancers theme.
Gave the go ahead. Tamaki deserves the panic and trauma.

Note to self: Think up appropriate excuse or costume for Haruhi later.


--


Sunday, September 24, 2006
No classes.

Met with Tamaki, Mori, and Honey for lunch.
Spent 4200 yen.

Honey had 5 cakes instead of the usual 12. Mori is a good influence. (+5 pts)

Tamaki knocked over his water glass. Graceless and poor reflection of host club in public. (-5 pts)
Charmed the waitress and plugged host club. (+10 pts)

Mori practiced smiling. (Acceptable out of host club; no regular customers around to see and develop an immunity.) Received free dessert. (+15 pts) Did not give it to Honey. (+5 pts)

Reminder: Victorian costume fitting tomorrow (09.25.2006) at 18:30. Have someone call to confirm appointment. Have someone to call and remind the others.

Erotic dancers theme on Tuesday (09.26.2006).
Tomorrow's theme: ninjas.


--


Monday, September 25, 2006
Host Club theme:
ninjas

Profit for the day:
Kyouya - 31100 yen
Tamaki - 30110 yen (+10 pts)
Mori - 22100 yen (+5 pts)
Hikaru and Kaoru - 20000 yen (+1 pt)
Haruhi - 13200 yen
Honey - 13090 yen

Note: obscuring faces is a no-go in the future. Especially for Tamaki.
Strong and silent works for Mori. Customers increased by another 2. - 1000 yen

10 pre-orders for "Ouran Host Club LoveLove Autumn Special Private Photobook #2.5"
-at 2500 yen each, total profit of 25000 yen

Costs for the day:
Bandage for Kaoru's cut on his thigh from Hikaru's kunai - 500 yen
Bandage for customer's cut after dropping her teacup in excitement - 500 yen
Westwood "Pastel Floral" teacup - 15000 yen
5 kunai and 2 shuriken, on lease from Haninzuka family - 5200 yen

Other points:
Hikaru caused loss of profit. (-25 pts)
Mori helped bandage the injured customer. (+5 pts)
Honey refused to demonstrate his marital art skills (claim: did not want to hurt anyone). (-10 pts)
Renge showed and Tamaki cried in a corner again. (-5 pts)

Mori the only one consistent with positive points and profit. (+5 pts) Bonus.

Theme for Wednesday (09.27.2006): fire fighters. Have someone secure appropriate acessories and props.
Note to self: Have many boxes of tissues moved into Music Room 3 in preparation for tomorrow.


Fitting went well.
Alteration of Haruhi's costume - 11200 yen
20% discount - 102,240 yen saved
Total cost - 408,960 yen


--


Tuesday, September 26 2006
Host Club theme:
erotic dancers

Profit for the day:
Tamaki - 135,600 yen (+10 pts)
Haruhi - 104,340 yen (+5 pts)
Hikaru and Kaoru - 96000 yen (+1 pt)
Kyouya - 94300
Mori - 93300
Honey - 93070 yen

Customers made dance requests. Blanket charge (one host) - 2500 yen. Each additional host - 1000 yen.

Greatest profit: Hikaru and Kaoru, 18 requests, 63000 yen

Surprising: Mori and Kyouya, 9 requests, 31500 yen
-investigate the attraction of this and capitalize on the opportunity in the future.

Costs for the day:
50 boxes of tissue - 25000 yen
7 sets of hi-tech frequency-filtered trasnmitter earplugs - 210,000 yen

Other points:
Tamaki had 3 nosebleeds over Haruhi. (-10 pts)
Hid it from customers. (+5 pts)
Twins' idea. (+50 pts) (Very profitable.)
Twins' ero-ero dance with each other increased profit. (+15 pts)

Consider marketing "Ouran Host Club Ero-Ero Beauty Shining Dance Photobook".
Customers very receptive to idea.

Note to self: Call Mori and arrange time to meet and discuss future plans.


--


Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Host Club theme:
fire fighters

Profit for the day:
Tamaki - 33300 yen (+10 pts)
Kyouya - 31920 yen
Mori - 24100 yen (+5 pts)
Hikaru and Kaoru - 24000 yen (+1 pt)
Haruhi - 17200 yen
Honey - 16090 yen

Mori placed hand on my shoulder. Smiled. Swooning resulted and 8 new customers. - 4000 yen
Will work with this. Factor into future calculations.

Costs for the day:
None.

Other points:
Twins played "Guess which one is Hikaru-kun" game. Well received, as always. (+10 pts)
Tamaki roleplayed heroic fire fighter off to save the "damsel in distress", Haruhi. Well received. (+10 pts)
Haruhi did not kick him. (+5 pts)
Honey "saved" his stuffed rabbit "Usa-chan". Well-received. (+10 pts)
Mori complied with customers' requests and "saved" them. (+15 pts) (Happy customers mean profits for the club.)

Strange. I must be feeling generous today.

Theme for tomorrow (09.28.2006): angels
Note to self: File financial report to student government by Monday (10.02.2006).


--


Thursday, September 28, 2006
Host Club theme:
angels

Profit for the day:
Tamaki - 30000 yen (+10 pts)
Honey - 29010 yen (+5 pts)
Haruhi - 28900 yen (+1 pt)
Kyouya - 23220 yen
Mori - 21000 yen
Hikaru and Kaoru - 19990 yen

As planned, Mori looked up from Honey to me. Ten minutes later he crossed to stand beside me. Offered a cup of tea. Customer increase: 2. - 1000 yen

Costs for the day:
None.

Other points:
Honey's cake expenditure decreased from 12000 yen to 9000 yen. (+10 pts)
Due to Mori's good influence and advice. (+5 pts)
Tamaki played the piano "like an angel". Well received. (+15 pts)
Haruhi did not sing. (+2 pts)
Hikaru misplaced his wings. (-5 pts)
Kaoru misplaced his halo. (-5 pts)

Still discussing a release date for "Ouran Host Club Ero-Ero Beauty Shining Dance Photobook". Note to self: Have people compile the pictures. Blackmail if necessary to ensure privacy of photos.

Theme for tomorrow (09.29.2006): Victorian London. Have someone pick up costumes by 18:00.


--


Friday, September 29, 2006
Host Club theme:
Victorian London

Profit for the day:


...Mori sought me out before the opening of the club, as were changing into our costumes.

Time (-5 pts)
Location (behind the changing curtain) (-2 pts)
Privacy (+1 pt)
Element of surprise (+5 pts)
Kissing technique (+20 pts)
Accurate prediction of reciprocation (+30 pts)

It appears that Mori-senpai knows some things that even I don't. But I will learn them.


--


Started: 09.23.2006
Finished: 09.24.2006


--

Notes: Inspired by this icon. ♥ Like? Love? Hate? Tell me!
 
 
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Savage Garden - Break Me, Shake Me
 
 
keishiko on September 24th, 2006 05:19 am (UTC)
omglaughing. *dies*

memories for this one. ^_^
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 05:22 am (UTC)
:D I am so glad I am the only person who thinks I'm funny. I question myself when I am happy and high on good sushi.
cycamethyst_water on September 24th, 2006 05:27 am (UTC)
hi wall, meet my head. that was wonderful in the crackiest sort of way. loved it! never thought of the pairing. now, i'm scared.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC)
I had never considered the pairing either until I saw that icon and then I was hit with OH HOW MARVELOUS and put off a lot of studying and essay-writing to do this. Oh conniving plotbunnies with teeth.

So, hey, I'm totally glad you liked!
gem2niki: details: hikaharugem2niki on September 24th, 2006 05:29 am (UTC)
Haha nicely done to lead up to a Kyouya/Mori thing :3 I read every line and it was funny how he deducted and points and made notes that would be profitable.

Tamaki must really be king to always be on the top of the profit :D
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 05:41 am (UTC)
I had way too much fun with this; I could totally imagine Kyouya with his own personal point system. He's very merit-oriented, after all.

And they said first episode that about 70 (or was it 80) percent of the customers designated Tamaki...I tried to make it slightly more reasonable but he's still king for a reason. XD
Mollykotomine on September 24th, 2006 05:31 am (UTC)
Tamaki neglected another customer to pour unwelcomed and unwarranted attentions on Haruhi.

I so see this happening very often xD

Great concept. Made me squee uncontrollably in the end x3
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 05:43 am (UTC)
Oh but it does happen--every day! Thanks for reading and commenting. :D
random_karen: Fangirls sqeerandom_karen on September 24th, 2006 05:49 am (UTC)
Theme suggested by twins: erotic dancers.
Possible. Pros: Minimal clothing costs required. Profits would skyrocket. Cons: Haruhi. Tamaki's reaction.

Costs for the day:
50 boxes of tissue - 25000 yen
7 sets of hi-tech frequency-filtered trasnmitter earplugs - 210,000 yen


OMG rofl That seriously cracked me up (especially the costs ^_^). And Kyouya's matter-of-fact recitation of Victorian London theme day was most amusing. *giggles*
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 05:54 am (UTC)
I seriously had to double check some of my math. I'm still not entirely ure how all the prices add up, but, feh, they're only details. XD I'm glad you liked! The Victorian London was actually an oh-so-subtle reference to evocates's lovely Tamaki/Kyouya AU fic. ::pimps::

I had so much fun writing this so I'm glad you had fun reading it!
snickersd: pic#51071602snickersd on September 24th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
Haha, wonderful story, you had Kyouya perfectly. I never really thought much of Kyouya/Mori, but it turned out great.


Just a question, how did Haruhi get out of erotic dancing?
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 06:03 am (UTC)
Hmm. She didn't. But she just got to wear a shirt that hid the essential bits. :D Let's just say she wasn't pleased, but Kyouya had his glasses and notebook and a Look on his face. The customers had plenty of other boys to distract them, too, if she was a bit more reticent than usual.

Damn, I should use these BS-ing skills on my paper. Which I should really get back to...

Glad you enjoyed!
i am a lonely bucket ~:"(emcyclopedia on September 24th, 2006 06:07 am (UTC)
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


*____________________________________* Pure delight.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: lovemeiface on September 24th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)
milk or sugar?
Lemon. :OOOOOOOOO - emcyclopedia on September 24th, 2006 06:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
SCANDALOUS. - meiface on September 24th, 2006 06:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
Milk is pretty scanalous too. :(((((( - emcyclopedia on September 24th, 2006 06:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
Sugar, too, in the right context. Or maybe honey? - meiface on September 24th, 2006 06:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
LMFAO HONEY. - emcyclopedia on September 24th, 2006 06:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
*HEADDESK* DAMMIT I DIDN'T MEAN-- - meiface on September 24th, 2006 06:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
*whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistle* :9 - emcyclopedia on September 24th, 2006 06:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
WRRRRYYYY - meiface on September 24th, 2006 06:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
ILU2. :D :D :D - emcyclopedia on September 24th, 2006 06:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
<3 - meiface on September 24th, 2006 06:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
:DDDDDDDD - emcyclopedia on September 24th, 2006 06:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
splinteredfate on September 24th, 2006 06:08 am (UTC)
IT IS ADORABLE. ;a; Oh thankgod another person that has written MoriKyouya. I am no longer alone.

Anywho :o It was adorable. And I remembered I am supposed to remind you:

-MomDad KumaSutra
-Fluffy twincest

THERE I REMEMBERED. Well, belated reminder, but... yes. ♥
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: lovemeiface on September 24th, 2006 06:10 am (UTC)
THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME. I totally started on the twincest one too. But then this beaned me with a baseball bat and now I really really have to write my (two!! D:) essays before I get back to fic-writing.

WHAT. I MUST GO FIND YOUR MORI/KYOUYA. OR LINK ME, YES. ♥
shad_fgshad_fg on September 24th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)
NICE.
What the twins did cracked me up. XDDDD
Haruhi did not sing. (+2 pts)
LMAO. HAHAHAHAHAHA! BRAVO. XD
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 06:12 am (UTC)
The twins are so made for ridiculous amounts of fangirling. :D

Heh. Haruhi. I actually want her image song (oh Sakamoto Maaya!) but I wonder how they're going to explain away the fact that she's supposed to be a bad singer?

THANK YOU!
The Winged Poet: sciathan Tamaki is the smex!sciathan_file on September 24th, 2006 06:13 am (UTC)
Well, that was lovely awesomeness.

And quite hilarious. ^_^

<3
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 06:15 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! Ouran is made for crack, isn't it?
(no subject) - sciathan_file on September 24th, 2006 06:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 06:33 am (UTC)
Isn't it? I don't know--maybe it's the dark, silent type? The fact that so many of their conversations would be conducted physically or through "..."! XD

I'm glad you liked it!
cerhibycerhiby on September 24th, 2006 06:50 am (UTC)
love the 'businessmen attire' for the twins ;D

this is ingenuis~ ;D
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
I have this severe weakness for boys in button-up white shirts and ties. Especially when they come undone, mmm. ♥

Thanks!
(no subject) - cerhiby on September 24th, 2006 06:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
a bad enough dude to rescue the president: kasanoda's sexy faceinglorious_dmk on September 24th, 2006 07:02 am (UTC)
Pros: Minimal clothing costs required. Profits would skyrocket. Cons: Haruhi. Tamaki's reaction.

I love that Haurhi is her very own con.

Also much love for this in general ♥ Oh Kyouya.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 08:49 pm (UTC)
Considering all the complications she brings, of course she is! Kyouya only keeps her on because the profit > liabilities. ^_~.

Oh Kyouya, indeed. I'm glad you liked it!
spray-painted sheep = TROO LUVjengou on September 24th, 2006 07:39 am (UTC)
This is FANTASTIC!!

Hahaha, so appropriate for the twins to suggest erotic dancers theme, as well as to do so abysmally in the angels theme XD

Plus points to Haruhi for NOT singing *guffaws*

Pillow-throwing and Tamaki's windmilling amusing Kyouya and earning Tamaki points, whee~

I love everything and I want more~ *greedy greedy*
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
The twins are hot and fun and absolutely no good at being angels. And I had to try really hard from making it Kyouya/Tamaki. But the icon compelled me! I really wanted to write one Mori/Kyouya, at least, so here we go. :D

And thanks!
*Akihiko*: Ouran Host Club where boys can be girlst_zou on September 24th, 2006 09:07 am (UTC)
the Ero Ero Dance is like sooo funny!! HAHAHAHAHA~!!!!
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ouran host clubmeiface on September 24th, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC)
No, no, it's supposed to be hot. ^__~.