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26 June 2011 @ 10:37 pm
[SME] Dear Post Secret, PG, various implied pairings  
Scribbling out so much (short) fic because I am procrastinating like a fiend; stress about studying apparently always leads to writing, because my life just works like that. Plus, hiatus upcoming in July so - here, words. Have a few.

Dear Post Secret
SME, various implied + gen, PG, 785 words
Fifteen secrets kept in SM Town. The things they can't - or don't know how - to say.

(01) Han Geng misses Heechul more than he is willing to admit. He keeps quiet because doesn't think he has the right, not when China is so good to him and his fans so supportive, not when Heechul is the one with the unbearable, barely-concealed wound in his eyes. After all, Han Geng is, and he can never let himself forget, the one who chose to leave.

(02) Jessica has fallen in love more times than anyone knows, but she seals her lips together when people pry. When the curious inquirers have left and she's alone, she looks in the mirror at her body, fingers pressing into her shoulders, her ribs, her hips, and then sighs and looks away. She can't imagine the day it will be someone else's hands on her skin.

(03) Zhou Mi thinks Henry can do better, but he looks so happy, finally, circled by people who dote on him and joke with him, and surrounded at last by cheers of his name. So Zhou Mi smiles and keeps his opinion to himself.

(04) Victoria doesn't want to go home. She loves her family and she misses them but she's happy here - she fits in and she's liked; she has a chance to shine here and she doesn't want to leave. When she thinks about Han Geng and the bitter exhaustion when they spoke, the faraway look in his eyes, dreaming of something other than here and now, she finds that she feels sorry for him.

(05) Jungmo hates Heechul's cats. They seem to return the sentiment, but maybe they're only being cats, bad-tempered and infinitely hard to please. Just, he thinks with a grin, like their master.

(06) Minho doesn't like Kibum. He's only met him twice - once at the company and once at the after-party for Super Show II - and he's polite, because Minho is brought up right, but the dislike is instantaneous. Anyone who can make Donghae light up like that and still turn around and walk away is, in Minho's opinion, either blind or heartless.

(07) Henry knows Zhou Mi can do better. He thinks he knows, too, the reason Zhou Mi lingers, drawn against his will like a moth to the flame. Henry just hopes he doesn't get burned too badly.

(08) Taeyeon, given a choice, will pick Sunny over any ideal man. No man she can imagine would be able to understand her the way Sunny does, or refuse to put up with her crap or let her get lost in her doubts. Who else will be able to see underneath her pretty pretense and make her comfortable - happy - to be herself?

(09) Over the years, Sungmin has reconciled himself to never being best, whether at singing or dancing or playing instruments. Little things like that don't matter so much as long as he still comes first in people's hearts - it's why he always reaches out to the newcomers first. Mine first. In a way that will never change, no matter who comes after.

(10) Taemin just wants to dance.

(11) Amber has a feeling she and Henry wouldn't have been friends back home, or under any circumstances but these, but necessity makes for strange bedfellows and - he's all right. Pretty cool, even. Except his taste in music, she thinks sourly, really blows.

(12) Changmin thinks Victoria is the most beautiful girl he's ever met, inside and out. It makes him lonely, at times, to see her joke with Kyuhyun and laugh with SHINee, or talk to Zhou Mi, intimate, in a language he'll never understand. He hates watching her flirt with Nichkhun, wishing he had the courage to say, Song Qian, could you look at me? Could you look at me that way?

(13) Kangin misses them. He can say that. What he can't say is that he is terrified of going back, because he doesn't think he's the same person anymore.

(14) Tiffany is jealous of people to whom charm comes so easily, an effortless friendly energy. She doesn't know which rules she's allowed to break and as a consequence she feels bound by all of them. She has to fight with her own self-consciousness more than anyone guesses, when they expect her to be bold and outspoken, the Westerner who jokes and laughs like she's not terrified of the faux pas that will one day break her.

(15) Siwon says, "Yes," when Han Geng says, "Should I?" and then everything changes. Siwon looks at the smile on Han Geng's face and - even though it's from a distance now, through a screen instead of scant inches from his own - can't find it himself to regret his answer. Yes. Break my heart. Be happy. Walk away.

(Not a secret) Heechul misses him, every day.


Started/Finished: 2011.06.24
(Deleted comment)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 韩庚: gengmeiface on June 28th, 2011 01:36 am (UTC)
The occasional secret still gets me! :)

1 and 15 were meant to be bookends of a sort, being first and last, but (not a secret) is also sort of like the real bookend. ShiHanChul is a complicated thing for me! Also, I miss them.

Thanks for reading~ ♥
torananashitorananashi on June 27th, 2011 12:08 pm (UTC)
I don't think I really got 7 but the rest of them were really good. Sometimes a few words is better than a paragraph and you manage to convey everything across so nicely~

I like 1, 6, 9 and 15 best

hello~ i'm just a creepy creeper finally revealing herself.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 周觅: miss chicmeiface on June 28th, 2011 01:34 am (UTC)
Ahh, yes, 7. 7 relies on a lot of my own personal interpretation on Zhou Mi, but people can take that bit how they choose to. For me, at least, the flame that draws Zhou Mi closer is a person~

Hi and thanks for reading! I also appreciate the comment~ :D
b.tulita on June 27th, 2011 06:30 pm (UTC)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 희철: sadfacemeiface on June 28th, 2011 01:29 am (UTC)
/passes out tissues?? :(
eeeeeeeelaine: his name is minhofadedandinsane on June 27th, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC)
i love all of these, honestly, but omg #6..... #SIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 민호: :Dmeiface on June 28th, 2011 01:28 am (UTC)

They are SO cute it's gross. :D

Edited at 2011-06-28 01:28 am (UTC)
(no subject) - fadedandinsane on June 28th, 2011 05:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on June 29th, 2011 03:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - unbroken_glass on June 28th, 2011 07:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
isa: donghaehaushisa on June 28th, 2011 01:49 am (UTC)
just... ♥
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your headmeiface on June 29th, 2011 03:33 pm (UTC)
thanks! ♥
(Deleted comment)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 희철: sadfacemeiface on June 29th, 2011 03:39 pm (UTC)
Re: I haven't read Post Secret in foreverrrrr.
7 is definitely open to interpretation! I didn't want to limit it to my personal thoughts on Mimi (of which I Have Many).

Naaw, I'm so glad you liked these, thank you! ♥ ShiHanChul is always dear to my heart but, seriously, they are so sad-making lately.
0n3star: [shinee] minhobb0n3star on June 28th, 2011 02:08 am (UTC)
this is so agonising but so pretty since i pretty much ♥ the entire of smtown.

06 ohhh. the kihae and my minho bias T.T
07 kyuhyun?
05 10,11 d'awwww. pokes all of them :D

and 01 and not a secret *cries forever*
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 동해: plaidmeiface on June 29th, 2011 03:41 pm (UTC)
awww thank you so much! Yes, this is also full of my biases, um, KiHae and Minho/Donghae and qmi. .../shifty

Oh HanChul. There you go, breaking all of fandom's collective hearts. ):
{{ a y a m e | mabudachi trio }}hoyah on June 28th, 2011 02:18 am (UTC)
awww :(

also i didn't know you shipped mintoria! :O
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} f(x): victoriameiface on June 29th, 2011 03:36 pm (UTC)
tbh I ship a little bit of everyone/Victoria, haha. But yes, Mintoria! Really close and far less staged than Khuntoria (though Khuntoria were super cute at the beginning ahh I miss that) and also Changmin has a shitton going for him. Meets my high standards for Song Qian, lol. = v =
(no subject) - hoyah on June 29th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on June 29th, 2011 03:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - hoyah on June 29th, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
thenimbletreethenimbletree on June 28th, 2011 02:33 am (UTC)
This breaks my heart... Gennnnnnnnnnng! T__T

But I totally loved it- it was very creative :)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 韩庚: gengmeiface on June 29th, 2011 03:36 pm (UTC)
alskfjdk Geng is such an asshole. :( I love him though.

Thank you!
shilily: owlshilily on June 28th, 2011 06:07 am (UTC)
Short but powerful, these. 1 was my favourite because it's so Han Geng to think like that, folowed by 6, 11 and 13.

Also, I'm going to be biased and think 7 refers to Kyuhyun becuase this is what my 'head'Qmi looks like.

Thank you for writing!
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 韩庚: gengmeiface on June 29th, 2011 03:44 pm (UTC)
Oh Geng bao, what to do with him. I'm glad you liked his though! I realized I spend a lot of time feeling bad for Heechul, who so obviously misses Geng, but undoubtedly Geng misses him (and everyone else) too but can't exactly go around moping when he's the one who...chose to leave...

Qmi always :)

Thanks for reading! ♥
addict for dramaticsununoriginal on June 28th, 2011 07:13 am (UTC)
i like (15) a lot, but (13) is actually the one tat resonates with me the most. these 1-sentence things are cool cuz u really cut to the core of their emotions :)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} ot13meiface on June 29th, 2011 03:56 pm (UTC)
thank you! I am not as happy with these as I'd like to be (truly one-sentence fic memes are hard but fun! maybe another time~) but they are things I've been wanting to write quickly condensed haha.
unbroken_glassunbroken_glass on June 28th, 2011 07:51 am (UTC)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 기해: smilesmeiface on June 29th, 2011 03:37 pm (UTC)

I blame Kibum for everything.
(Anonymous) on June 28th, 2011 10:07 am (UTC)
lovely ♥

i especially loved 1, 15, & (). the sihanchul dynamic -- with han geng at the center -- has always been the most fascinating one, for me, and you definitely captured my post-lawsuit headcanon for them really well.

HENRY&AMBER ♥ that one was really cute. and oh, #12, so heartwrenching. changmin/victoria, my favorite victoria ship (that message to her in his thanks-to, guh ♥).

the way 03 & 07 parallel/balance each other is beautiful, too. i blabbed a lot in your journal about my qmi feelings, and i'm pretty much with henry on this one.

5 was great -- i love m&d and am really intrigued by jungmo/heechul interaction, and lol, heechul is the personification of a cat, it's true. and i'm diggin' the taesun in 8. la la la i have feelings, i like these a lot, etc. ♥
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 썬니: geekmeiface on June 29th, 2011 05:47 pm (UTC)
I miss ShiHanChul - it seems impossible to write them happy these days! Thanks a lot, Geng. Though I suppose one could always write AU...

I love intra-company friendship asdlkfdjf it is so cute. MiToria friendship and Henber friendship and Heechul/his favorites! Who oddly enough match up pretty well with my favorites, heh. Good taste, Heenim.

Also, no one ever talks to me about TaeSun D: to be fair I don't talk about them as much as I want to either but I LOVE THEM THEY ARE SO CUTE. :D :D ♥
numbuh_009numbuh_009 on June 28th, 2011 06:33 pm (UTC)
In these few sentences, I think you really reached into the core of what really touches us about SM Town, especially with the SuJu. Beautiful and heartbreaking ;A;
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your headmeiface on June 29th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
thank you so much! ♥
ptitmouton812ptitmouton812 on June 28th, 2011 07:54 pm (UTC)
beautiful, wonderful and sad! but awsome! I hate you and I love you for this! geng! ;__________; Shihan ;__________; ShiHanChul;_____________________;

zhoumi and henry are so cute! just! guh! and victoria and amber and changmin, kangin, minho... I think uou have understand: I love all of THEM! these drabbles are PERFECT! that's .. just.. perfect... ;___________;

it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: {kpop} 周觅: kiss memeiface on June 29th, 2011 05:56 pm (UTC)
aww thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked so many of these. :D I'm sorry they're kind of sad though...