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12 May 2010 @ 09:20 am
[Super Junior] The Truth Behind the Bonamana MV, PG, humor, bandfic  
Okay, I lied when I said the Bonamana MV didn't make me want to fic. It was so hilariously terrible that I ended up ficcing for it anyway. Forgive me, it is utterly pointless crack. Blame to be directed at the number of people who did not tell me this was an awful idea, including papered, starflower135, and 2naonh3_cl2. :)

The Truth Behind the Bonamana MV
Super Junior (M), bandfic, PG, 2335 words
The origins of the set (reused) and the choreography (inexplicable): poor life decisions.


It is a truth universally acknowledged that while all bad ideas are not necessarily birthed from drunkenness, any idea that is birthed from drunkenness is necessarily a bad one.

When Eeteuk made that bet with Taeyeon, for instance, he was stone-cold sober at the time. But that didn't change the fact that he had made a terrible, terrible decision and Taeyeon's laughter sometimes haunted his dreams nowadays.

"You lost us our MV budget?" Sungmin asks disbelievingly.

"In a bet?" Shindong demands.

Hyukjae looks like he wants to speak up in support of Eeteuk, but Eeteuk knows he has to bear responsibility. He hangs his head. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't think she'd win." He considers getting on his knees to beg for forgiveness.

"Great, now SNSD has our MV budget. What the hell are we going to do?"

Ryeowook puts a calming hand on Yesung's arm. "Don't worry, hyung. I'm sure we can just...reuse the Sorry Sorry set or something."

Heechul snorts. "Oh goodie. Dancing in a box again. I fucking love dancing in a box." He stalks out and the members stare after him forlornly, in silent agreement they dare not voice because it will only make their leader feel worse. There's nothing awesome about dancing in a box.

--


Heechul considers making another bet with Taeyeon - or Jessica or Sunny, it doesn't really matter who - to win their MV budget back. But by the time he calls, Jessica's voice is both smug and cheerful. "Sorry, oppa, our manager's already committed to spending the money on our Run Devil Run costumes and set. Good luck~"

"Looks like the Sorry Sorry set it is," Donghae sighs from Heechul's bed. "Don't worry though," he adds brightly when he sees Heechul's scowl, "we can change it up a little! Give it different lighting and stuff."

--


That was the first bad idea, birthed not from alcohol but from Eeteuk's own poor judgment, which he would spend the next few months feeling badly about except that only three weeks after his poor life decision, The Party happens. After which no one can hold Eeteuk solely responsible for bad decisions.

The Party deserves capital letters because it is then that the (remaining) fate of their comeback MV is sealed.

It starts off with drunkenness. You can probably guess where it goes from there: bad decisions.

It's the night Kangin tells them he's thinking about not coming back to participate in the fourth album, how he's thinking about doing his military service instead. The Party is partly an attempt to dissuade him and partly an attempt for everyone to get so drunk that they forget about all the drama they're drowning in. Well, okay, it's also just an excuse to get together and drink, because that's fun.

They drag Henry and Zhou Mi with them, Heechul does something that might be blackmail to get Kibum to show up, and Siwon very determinedly pulls out his computer, Skypes Hankyung, and sets the laptop on the table so that Hankyung can see everything. "We miss you," he says earnestly as Hyukjae trips over an empty bottle of soju on the floor and goes sprawling over Henry, sloshing the drink in his hand all over Sungmin. Eeteuk is attempting to get Kibum to sing karaoke, Kibum is steadfastly refusing, and Yesung may or may not be licking at Ryeowook's shoulder.

"I see that," Hankyung says dryly.

"Body shots!" Kyuhyun suggests happily because he's evil and wants to see his bandmates falling down drunk. He does so enjoy taking advantage of the fact that he can hold his liquor. Especially because, tonight, they have broken out all the liquor. Soju, sake, Hite beer, imported beer, vodka, tequila, whisky, and all sorts of assorted mixers. Siwon thinks fondly (and sort of tipsily) that Kyuhyun's a terrible magnae, but really, such a sweetheart. Siwon loves him. Siwon loves everyone. Including Kangin, who is laughing uproariously because he's a loud drunk that way, demanding Zhou Mi perform Chinese opera. Donghae has been wheedled by Siwon into trying the hard stuff possibly on another promise of getting a Playstation 2 or 3 or maybe a Wii. Siwon's a little drunk himself and he can't remember what exactly he promised Donghae if he drank. But it's all right, since Donghae can't remember either.

Heechul is draped over Kibum's back singing into his ear as if it'll get him to join in. Kibum looks like he badly wants a cigarette.

"Hyung, hyung," Siwon says into his computer, eyes wide. "You don't seem very drunk. You should drink more! Drink with us!" He fumbles behind him for his shotglass and grins when Henry hands him something with gold flakes floating in it. "Thank you, Henry!" He toasts his computer. "GAN BEI." He turns to include Henry in his toast. "GAN BEI!"

He downs the shot and it tastes lovely and warm and cinnamony.

"Siwon," Hankyung says after a moment, "isn't Henry underage?"

Siwon's brain takes a moment to process that and then he's frowning at Henry. Henry frowns back.

"I'm not underage, ge!" he protests. "I've been legal for ages!"

Oh, well. That's all right then.

Hankyung says, "I think I gotta go. I have to watch the paint on the ceiling peel or something." Before Siwon can form the words to protest, Hankyung's signed off with a little swoop of sound. Siwon transfers his frown to his laptop. He's staring at it for a good minute before he realizes there's a hand on his arm, petting his bicep. "Henry?" he asks, confused.

"You have nice arms."

Siwon beams. He does have nice arms. Henry has nice arms too.

At some later point in time (Siwon's lost track but it feels simultaneously like a second later and hours later), Heechul's voice cuts through the fog. "What the fuck is this? An arm-petting party?"

"Arms!" Donghae shouts somewhere behind Heechul. He giggles. "I've got arms!"

"Me too!" Hyukjae announces, and they giggle together.

"Kibummie's got arms," Donghae adds, poking the arms in question. "We've all got arms!"

"Not Yesung," Zhou Mi says gravely and Siwon thinks he sounds very sober. But that could be misleading. Then again, Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun had both out-drunken the rest of them back in China. "He's got tentacles." He reaches out to pry Yesung away from Ryeowook, who blinks and says, "It's okay." Zhou Mi nods and replaces Yesung's arms around Ryeowook.

"I'm drunk," Eeteuk sighs from the floor, head pillowed on Kangin's lap. He reaches for his bottle of beer even as he speaks.

That seems to sum it up nicely, Siwon thinks somewhat proudly. The Party is a success!

And that's when the bad ideas come out, when everyone is well and truly wasted.

--


"Let's dance!" Shindong suggests.

"Okay!" Henry says eagerly.

"Everyone?" Ryeowook sounds decidedly less eager.

"EVERYONE!" confirms Donghae at the top of his lungs. Kibum solicitously slaps a hand over his mouth and Donghae squirms and flashes him a betrayed look.

"I don't dance," Heechul says dismissively, licking salt and tequila off his wrist.

"Kim Heechul," Kangin says, "don't be a liar. We have all seen you dance."

Heechul roots around on the mess of the table for a fresh slice of lime. "Doesn't count!" he says triumphantly. "Girl dances don't count. You can't make me do anything, I'm Kim Heechul. Aha, lime!"

Hyukjae's already on his feet, unsteady, and trying out dance moves already. "Do we have music?" He tries a few more steps then grins at the room at large. "Everyone should do an 8-count! Doesn't matter what!"

"Don't wanna," Sungmin says into the pillow on the couch.

Kibum says, "Fuck this noise," and makes as if to leave.

Donghae latches onto him. "ARE YOU LEAVING, YOU CAN'T LEAVE. Also, why aren't you drunk? You don't look drunk? Drink some more!" He clambers into Kibum's lap to hold him in place and shoves a bottle of vodka at him, eyes wide and hopeful.

And by the time Kibum is pink and well past tipsy, Hyukjae's already got his 8-count done and dragged Shindong into the fray. Siwon thinks this isn't so hard when his turn comes up and combines a little twist with a sort of primp that ends with his palm extended for a low-five. Yesung slaps it, rolling his eyes.

"Typical Siwon," Yesung says. "Be more creative!" Then he's on his feet and flapping his arms like a chicken, as everyone dissolves into laughter around him.

"I know, I know!" Eeteuk scrambles to his feet, lurching and eager to contribute. He moves as if he's speed skating, arm swinging and feet sliding across the floor.

Ryeowook blushes but contributes a full 8-count of very suggestive hip thrusts. No one seems to find a consensus between catcalling in approval and falling down laughing. Siwon thinks Henry is beaming with pride but he might just be beaming from too much alcohol. It's kind of hard to tell.

Kyuhyun adds in a few jumps probably because he thinks it's hilarious. Everyone joins him in jumping around, pretending as if their soles are made of springs. Zhou Mi is rolling around in hysterics trying not to be kicked or stepped on as the jumpers land.

"This is amazing," he gasps out between his laughter. He grins widely. "You guys could totally string it all together as a dance!"

It would be easy to pin the blame on Zhou Mi at this point, for making the suggestion.

But it's really Kangin who seals the deal.

He slams his beer down on the table. "Fuck yeah," he shouts. "Make this your new MV choreography."

"What?" Hyukjae laughs incredulously.

Kangin's expression goes solemn. "Do it for me, guys. In memory of me."

"What?" Eeteuk repeats, on a higher register.

"Aww," says Heechul, patting Kangin's face and batting his lashes at the rest of the group. "Can you say no to this face? This precious, preciooous face?" his voice drops into baby talk and Kangin shoves him away, laughing. Heechul falls onto the floor and slides an arm around Shindong, mischievous.

"I think it's a great idea," he announces. "Right, Donghae?"

Donghae whips his head around, flushed. "Uh," he says, stalling, because Kibum is apparently a very touchy-feely drunk, "Sure? Yes! Whatever hyung says."

"Well, if Donghae thinks it's a good idea..." Hyukjae looks convinced.

"I think it's a great idea," Henry puts in loyally. But he might be smirking. It's hard to tell.

Siwon thinks it has been hard to read Henry all night. But then Henry's grinning at him, all crescent eyed and fluffy cheeks. "Han Geng-ge would agree!" he says sweetly.

If that's the case, Siwon's in.

"This is such a fucking bad idea," says Sungmin into the couch pillow.

He's shouted down.

--


In the morning, they're all suffering hangovers from hell. They go back to sleep, remembering nothing of the night before.

--


The next day, their choreographer meets them in the studio and crosses his arms. "All right," he says tiredly, "I got your video and your demands. I've worked this into a full routine. I hope you're sure about this."

He's met with ten pairs of blinking, uncomprehending eyes.

Forget talking. They obviously still haven't recovered from The Party from two nights ago, but that's not his problem. He's here to work them. He claps. "All right, let's do this!"

--


It's not until two hard weeks into learning the new choreography does it strike Siwon as somewhat familiar. He's seen that chicken wing move somewhere before, he can swear it.

It's not until a month into the new choreography when it's no longer new but set as their MV dance that Sungmin stumbles across the video. The one they filmed while falling down drunk and performing their individual 8-count dances. The one they emailed to their choreographer with the demand that he make this their comeback choreography or they would all mutiny and boycott their own band. Or something to that effect.

"Oh my god," Hyukjae says, horrified.

"On the bright side," Shindong says glumly, "at least this proves that our choreographer hasn't totally gone insane. I was seriously wondering what the hell he was thinking."

"I told you this was a bad idea," Sungmin says.

"Well," Siwon says philosophically, putting his arm around a drooping Sungmin, "it's too late to change it now. We've started filming and everything."

--


"We have our Sorry Sorry box and a fucking warehouse wall," Kyuhyun says in disgust. "We don't even have a fucking warehouse like in Don't Don. Just a wall."

Zhou Mi points out very reasonably: "You have the Sorry Sorry box with a swinging light, and a warehouse wall."

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes. "Yes, Zhou Mi. That makes all the difference."

--


So after the night of drunkenness and ensuing bad decisions, Siwon Skypes Hankyung again to apologize, Kangin eventually joins the military, and Kibum goes back to acting (like he doesn't know what Super Junior is). Kibum does manage to leave a mark though, and more than just the one on Donghae's neck because Kibum is a very touchy-feely drunk. The opening sequence with the snapping? All Kibum's idea.

He watches a row of his bandmates struggle to snap in sync and laughs softly under his breath. For most people, it is impossible for any idea that is birthed from drunkenness to be anything but a bad one. Kibum rather thinks that this idea was genius. He's never been more glad to he can't dance.

"Nice," says Kangin over the phone, sounding far too amused.

Hankyung's smirking on the Skype screen eyes off-set as he watches the Bonamana MV. "You're a bastard, you know that, Kim Kibum?"

Kibum awards himself to a celebratory cigarette. "I know. I learned from the best."

They all pause.

"Heechul."

"Man, he's got to be furious that he's stuck in the dance this time, doing ridiculous shit," Kangin chortles.

"Payback's a bitch," Hankyung says remorselessly.

Kibum agrees. Really, the best kind of Super Junior member to be is the non-active kind.




--

Started/Finished: 2010.05.12
 
 
Current Music: Super Junior - 미인아 (BONAMANA) | Powered by Last.fm
 
 
 
just gotta ♥: [Donghae] ¤ New Sexy Haefishydotlove on May 12th, 2010 02:40 pm (UTC)
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMFG

lol this explains it all
freaking warehouse wall and i ttly love kangin so much for those 8 counts hip thrusts

srsly the MV needs more Hae and his arms of sex :\
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: i'd tap thatmeiface on May 12th, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
They don't even get a real warehouse! Just a wall! This is what happens when you bet your MV budget away to SNSD...

srsly the MV needs more Hae and his arms of sex

Truer words have never been spoken!
lil_aqua_chiclil_aqua_chic on May 12th, 2010 02:42 pm (UTC)
*tackle!huggles you*
I am really really happy to read... the story behind the mv.. and dance... that's somewhat manipulated by the members who WERENT in the mv!
<3
Also... hilarious!
chicken wing dance ahhahahahaha sreiously describes that move perfectly HAHA
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: pink is for pretty girlsmeiface on May 12th, 2010 02:50 pm (UTC)
Heh, I gotta give my love to the non-active members too! They like to laugh about how they don't have to do the chicken-wing dance in front of hundreds of screaming fans.
i enjoy wookgasms!thundersquall on May 12th, 2010 02:45 pm (UTC)
... FUCKING DEAD.

Oh my god Mei I love you, I'm crying SO FUCKING HARD FROM LAUGHTER. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?! AND WHY IS THIS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED? I don't care what anyone else says now, I WILL INSIST THAT THIS WAS JUST HOW THE MV AND CHOREO WERE BIRTHED. And I will direct them all to meiface for proof, solid, non-drunken proof.

Eeteuk is attempting to get Kibum to sing karaoke, Kibum is steadfastly refusing, and Yesung may or may not be licking at Ryeowook's shoulder.

There is no reason why I zoomed in on that line okay. None at all, I am innocent. :DDDD

I LOVE YOU ♥

Edited at 2010-05-12 02:47 pm (UTC)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: engrishmeiface on May 12th, 2010 02:52 pm (UTC)
For anyone who demands to know why they had such a crappy set in comparison to all the snazzy stuff SNSD got, this is the answer. For anyone who questions the utterly bizarre choreography, this is the answer. For anyone who still wonders if Mei will slip in ninja!KiHae every chance she gets, this is the answer.

And for anyone who doubts whether Sheena loves her YeWook, well - does such a person exist? ;)

♥♥♥
(no subject) - thundersquall on May 12th, 2010 02:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on May 12th, 2010 02:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thundersquall on May 12th, 2010 03:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on May 12th, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thundersquall on May 12th, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on May 12th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thundersquall on May 12th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on May 12th, 2010 03:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thundersquall on May 12th, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on May 12th, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thundersquall on May 12th, 2010 03:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
FollowUrDestiny: HG05followurdestiny on May 12th, 2010 02:53 pm (UTC)
omo alsdkjfiejssfreakinghilarious!
Love ♥ Love ♥ Love ♥
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: yesmeiface on May 12th, 2010 02:56 pm (UTC)
Moral of the story: don't drink and make decisions about your career.
the world is not beautiful, therefore it isheijihatsutori on May 12th, 2010 02:54 pm (UTC)
HAHAHHAHA!!! OMG This is total hilarious! You nailed everything, really~ LOL.

Zhou Mi points out very reasonably: "You have the Sorry Sorry box with a swinging light, and a warehouse wall."

Seriously, SME is too stingy to put out a more decent mv. :/
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: inappropriate responsemeiface on May 12th, 2010 02:56 pm (UTC)
That's not SME being cheap, that's Eeteuk losing their MV budget to SNSD. Just look at how snazzy the SNSD MV sets are!
(no subject) - heijihatsutori on May 12th, 2010 02:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ShiShi™idioticvampyr on May 12th, 2010 02:55 pm (UTC)
i love this!!!!!!!!!
you're awesome!!!!!!!!!!
<<<<<<333333333333!!!!!!!!!!!
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: retarded kpop boysmeiface on May 12th, 2010 02:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you kindly! Drunken boys make for good entertainment, I always feel.
meow ♪ says the fish: leeteuk: shinefeatherie on May 12th, 2010 02:58 pm (UTC)
Lmfao, hilarious. :D I do wonder though, who thought up of forgetting about Teuk's shirt because fuck, he can't just daze us all with his nipples askflslf. Whoever thought that up, I bow down to his feet and worship him shamelessly because Teuk is a bamf and I'm not making myself obvious about my bias, at all.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: kangteuk = otpmeiface on May 12th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
My theory is that as forfeit for losing the bet he had to lose his shirt. Fair trde, kind of. Alternatively, Kangin (or your ship of choice) helped him misplace it right before the filming.

Edited at 2010-05-12 03:01 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - featherie on May 12th, 2010 03:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Haruka Hellscythe: hanchul que lindoshappy_gogogo on May 12th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
A+ AWESOME.

Glad to know I wasn't the only one wondering these things XD

Great job!
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: super juniormeiface on May 12th, 2010 03:02 pm (UTC)
Never dance when drunk! Or, really, never dance when drunk, film it, and send it to your choreographer with threats to force him to make it into your MV choreo. It's a very specific moral I'm teaching here!

Thank you!
tiggie0307tiggie0307 on May 12th, 2010 03:09 pm (UTC)
Really, the best kind of Super Junior member to be is the non-active kind.

I find this TOO funny. LOL
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: super juniormeiface on May 12th, 2010 03:11 pm (UTC)
It's definitely the theory Kibum subscribes to!
xapplekiss on May 12th, 2010 03:11 pm (UTC)
lololol. XDDD

AWESOME. <3

it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: biasbiasbiasmeiface on May 12th, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC)
Now for a live performance! I anticipate seeing whether or not they've learned to snap in unison and see whether or not they can manage to jump in unison.
(no subject) - xapplekiss on May 13th, 2010 02:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
rrongrrongrrongrrong on May 12th, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC)
well, leeteuk took full responsibility, the budget's even not enough to get him a shirt, bonus for us, abs!!!

very funny:D

it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: cheap whoremeiface on May 12th, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC)
Precisely! A leader's gotta make the sacrifices a leader's gotta make.

Thank you!
스파이크*yoghurts on May 12th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC)
LOL this line

Heechul snorts. "Oh goodie. Dancing in a box again. I fucking love dancing in a box."

had me dying~ xDDD

Loved it. You built up a lot of momentum in the beginning but it slowed down considerably in the end, but it was still good. xD
Kibum's genius idea saved it from being a slow ending. Lol~

Good story, bro. Haha~
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: can't touch thismeiface on May 12th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
Probably because all my ideas were at the beginning. :( Thank you for sharing your thoughts though! Kibum to the (reluctant?) rescue~
(Deleted comment)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: zhou mi needs iconspacemeiface on May 12th, 2010 03:21 pm (UTC)
Zhou Mi makes a very legitimate point: Sorry Sorry did not come with swinging lights!

Thank you!
ranwaeranwae on May 12th, 2010 03:52 pm (UTC)
haha this totally lifted my spirits, if only to know i am not the only one underwhelmed by the MV.

Kangin's expression goes solemn. "Do it for me, guys. In memory of me."
You fucker, are you going to die? In memory wtf XD I bet he's happy he's not singing bone-a-man-a :-/

and SJ15 love!!! always a good thing ♥ :3
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: kangteuk = otpmeiface on May 12th, 2010 06:51 pm (UTC)
I was beyond underwhelmed to the point where I had to start making fun of it or not enjoy it all. Thankfully, I enjoy making fun of it. :D

Nah, Kangin would totally bone a Eeteuk.
(Deleted comment)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: hearts for youmeiface on May 12th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
Sungmin is one of those sober drunks who still knows when something's a bad idea but can't really be arsed to do anything about it. ♥

Heechul would love dancing in a box if he got to do girl dances! :D