it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head (meiface) wrote in chineseink,

[SHINee/SJ] Never Knew Anything But Loving You - 2/?, PG, Romance, Minho/Donghae

Never Knew Anything But Loving You - 2/?
SHINee/Super Junior, Minho/Donghae, PG-13, 3235 words
Minho is kind of head over heels for Donghae, but he's okay with that.

Part 1 Part 2

"She's cute," Donghae tells him a low voice, eyes sparkling. "You should go after her, Minho."

Minho looks and, yeah, she's cute, but she's not really his type. She's a little too tall, too thin, looks like a stiff breeze will snap her right in half. Minho likes his girls not so waif-like, so supermodel-wannabe. He's still insisting Seohyun is his ideal, at least out of SNSD, and keeps to himself that what he really likes right now leans a little closer to muscled thighs encased in tight jeans. Broad shoulders and toned arms. A smile he sees a lot in his dreams.

"Not really my type, hyung," is all he says aloud, though, because Donghae doesn't really need to know the things that run through Minho's head. He might be five years younger, but he's smart enough to figure out that some things might be better off kept private, especially if he wants to keep Donghae smiling at him like that.

"Really?" Donghae casts a speculative look across the crowded room - it's a company function, something that might pass for a party except that it's far too formal to count. You can't let your guard down, can't relax, when you're bowing and nodding and greeting a company head or higher manager with every other step. Minho doesn't recognize the girl Donghae's currently making eyes at, thinks she might be one of the newer trainees or maybe a coordi noona or, hell, even one of the manager's daughters, for all he knows. He's never been that great with names.

So the thing is, Minho knows Donghae likes girls. Knows he's dated them. That thing with Jessica? Not so much a rumor as it is confirmed history, albeit history that people try not to talk about because they're both a little embarrassed by it because, well, it didn't end all that great. It was pretty awkward for a while. They're okay now, which even Minho can see, but it's obvious that they prefer people not talk about their past at all since they're much happier being friends.

Minho gets the fact that Donghae likes girls, has had crushes, dreams about the perfect romance with all the sweeping gestures and an aisle in a chapel somewhere down the line. It's hard to miss, if you know Donghae at all. He wants the big romance, the big dream, and then he wants the kids and the dogs and the ocean. It's all plotted out there in his head and Minho knows it, actually kind of thinks it's adorable and admirable at the same time. It's part of what makes Donghae Donghae, the fact that he is in love with the idea of love, with the castle in the sky that may or may not unravel one day. Minho hopes it doesn't; he never wants to see Donghae hurt.

But being all noble and wanting Donghae's happiness is much easier in theory than in practice. It's different when Donghae's grinning at him and sliding away in the crowd, heading towards the girl in the pink skirt with long hair and her bangs pinned off her face. Minho glances down at the glass of beer he's not legal to drink and gives up pretending he doesn't care about fifteen seconds later. His eyes dart back up, zeroing in on the back of Donghae's head as he crosses to the girl's side.

Jealousy twists inside him, bitter and sharp, and he knows it's unreasonable but he can't help it anyway. Really, Minho's not lying when he says he's not a jealous person - he's never envied Eunhyuk or Siwon or Henry or whoever all the time and attention they get from Donghae. It doesn't bother him because he knows Donghae loves them, that they love him, and it doesn't really affect the way Donghae feels about Minho or the way Minho feels about him.

But girls. Girls are somehow different.

It's probably in the way Donghae suddenly gets shyer, teeth caught on his bottom lip, an unsure smile in his eyes and in his approach. He's sweet, as always, and friendly - Minho can tell even from across the room that the girl, whoever she is, is charmed. It's in the way she hides a laugh behind her hand and angles her body towards his, all subtle signs that Donghae must be able to read subconsciously because he's a step closer now, his posture a little more confident, his gestures a little wider.

Minho makes himself look away and turns to find Jonghyun standing beside him, watching him watch Donghae.

"Hey," Minho says casually.

Jonghyun says, looking over in Donghae's direction, "Wow, she's cute. You think Donghae's going to ask her out? I can't really imagine him moving that fast."

And Minho would suspect that Jonghyun knows something, knows the way Eunhyuk seems to have cottoned on, wordlessly, but then the next words out of Jonghyun's mouth are laughing and light: "Yah, don't be jealous, Minho. We'll find you a cute girlfriend too, if you want one! Hyung will help you out." He nudges Minho, friendly, all smiles. Minho smiles back reflexively, relaxing minutely as he realizes that Jonghyun is as clueless as ever. At least about the depth of Minho's feelings. Everyone knows he likes Donghae, but no one (Minho thinks) knows how much. It's better this way. No one needs to figure out how stupid Minho is being right now, jealous and possessive like a toddler over his favorite playmate.

He shrugs, adjusts the cuff of his plaid overshirt, doesn't say anything of substance to Jonghyun, who doesn't find this abnormal. "Hey, c'mon," he enthuses, "there's Heechul-hyung. He was saying something about getting out of here, having our own party. Sounds awesome, doesn't it?"

Minho follows in his wake, deliberately letting Donghae slip out of his line of vision as Jonghyun makes a beeline towards Heechul. He's cool. He's collected. He's totally not this clingy person his subconscious is apparently try to make him. He can spend the next however long talking to other people he likes and not think about whether Donghae is asking out that girl or not, or if he's getting her number, or if he's still smiling at her all soft and hesitant around the edges.

He gets accosted by Eeteuk before he gets all the way to Heechul.

"Is that beer? Are you drinking? You're not allowed to drink!" Eeteuk's eyes are a little too bright and Minho suspects his hyung is the one who's been drinking. "Minho, you're too young! Who gave you this?" Eeteuk removes the cup from Minho's hand and then giggles at him, leaning in conspiratorially. "Hey, come by to our dorms in an hour? You can drink then. You just have to be smart about it, okay? Don't get caught. Not in public!"

Minho's always been caught between two emotions when it comes to drunk hyungs: there's amusement, of course, because it's always funny to see them stumble and blurt out secrets, but then there's also general bemusement. Minho isn't quite sure what to do when people who are five or six years older than him are draping themselves over him and making fools of themselves - the amusement never fully dissipates but it does make looking them in the eye later on a bit harder, if only because he's stifling chuckles.

Minho's seen Eeteuk drunk plenty of times though, so he barely bats a lash as the older man wraps an arm around him and guides him unsteadily through the crowd. Minho has no idea where they're going but Eeteuk seems intent.

"Are we leaving now?" he asks, even though Eeteuk had said in an hour. Spoken words and actual intent often don't match up with the tipsy.

Eeteuk shakes his head. "No, no, c'mere, though. You should come hang out over where." Then he's depositing Minho into a small knot of conversation towards the back of the room and beaming as he, very obviously, winks and steps away.

Minho fights the urge to bury his face in his hands. Instead he grins awkwardly at Seohyun and Yuri and Gahee. They smile back at him and he's pretty sure at least Yuri looks faintly pitying.

Apparently Eeteuk likes to matchmake when he's drunk, never mind that Minho only named Seohyun because his hand was forced. Still, she's a nice girl and Donghae is still occupied with that nameless chick and Minho has nothing better to do for the next half hour or so.


The unfortunate thing about bandmates who live with you 24/7 is that they know pretty much all your secrets by the time two years are over. Minho figures he also hasn't made much of a secret of how much he likes Donghae. Even if he wasn't exactly going around wearing a t-shirt proclaiming his love, he is evidently about as subtle as said t-shirt, according to Jonghyun.

But Jonghyun is a jerk anyway. He likes teasing Minho about whatever he can, even if (Minho is pretty sure) he doesn't know the full story. Or so Minho hopes.

"I don't think you can get within ten feet of him and not touch him," Jonghyun points out.

Minho tries to argue that's only partly his fault, because Donghae is a very touchy-feely person with the people he likes, and he likes Minho, so it's only natural for him to reach out for Minho and for Minho to reach out in return so Donghae doesn't feel neglected. "I'm just being a good dongsaeng," he defends.

"Uh-huh," says Jonghyun skeptically. "Nice iPod, by the way."

Minho looks down at his silver iPod classic and manages to withhold a pout with much practice. ("Minho," his manager told him in exasperation. "You have an image. You're the tall, cool, and unapproachable one. Don't sulk.")

"I don't see what my iPod has to do with anything," he lies.

Jonghyun doesn't even bother to dignify that with a response because, yeah, he knows Minho is lying. It goes back to that pesky thing where bandmates who live with you 24/7 know pretty much everything about you. Jonghyun definitely knows that Minho's current iPod used to belong to Donghae. Knows that Minho once mentioned, offhand, that he wanted a iPod classic instead of the new iPod Touch. Knows, too, that Donghae immediately offered to give Minho his since he was looking for an excuse to go buy a new Touch anyway.

That's just Donghae being a good hyung, Minho thinks with a sigh. Because as much as Minho likes him and as much as Donghae likes him back - it's never been that kind of like.

Which isn't a problem. Jonghyun can imagine all the drama he likes - he gets bored easily, Minho surmises, and that's why he turns all his bandmates' lives into melodrama in his head - but it doesn't exist. Minho and Donghae get along like a house on fire as hyung and dongsaeng and even if Minho likes him a little more than is probably platonic, that's not an issue.

Until the day that it suddenly is.


The first day Minho learned to regret his feelings for Donghae went like this:

"If that's your knee in my back, I'm going to roll over and kill you," Key mumbles into his pillow. He cracks one eye open at Minho and adds, threat muffled, "Slowly."

Minho laughs and moves his knee away from the prone figure on the bed. "Taemin and I are headed over to the Super Junior dorms. Did you want to come along?"

Key groans meaningfully into his pillow and Minho takes his point, backing out of the room with his hands in the air. "Hey, just asking, man." He grins as he leaves because he could've guessed Key's reaction before bothering to ask: when it comes to sleep, Key reshuffles everything else on his priority list. Taemin remains ever hopeful he will change his mind but Taemin is kind of clueless at times.

Which is funny, Minho muses. One would think that all that time with Heechul would fix Taemin of any remaining gullibility. Still, his face falls a little when Minho reports back that Key, predictably, would like them to get out of the dorm as quickly as possible and leave him to his peaceful, dead-to-the-world practice of unconsciousness.

Jonghyun's out filming and Onew's made a date with some high school friends. It's just Minho and Taemin who show up on the twelfth floor of the Super Junior dorms, decked out in hats and sunglasses in the standard gear of anonymity. Minho swears it's become a niche of fashion lately, with the insane number of idols running around Seoul attempting to be incognito.

Half the members are out on their own schedules, filming or otherwise. Happily for Taemin, Heechul is there, and so is F.T. Island's Hongki, who immediately wraps an arm around Taemin's neck and drags him to the laptop, smiling widely and chattering nonstop. Minho heads for the common area and finds Donghae and Kyuhyun sprawled on the couch, gaming half-heartedly.

"Minho!" Donghae exclaims, eyes flitting away from the TV screen to alight on him.

And it should be like every other time. Every other time Minho's come over to hang out or every other time he's seen Donghae half-asleep or happy to see Minho or losing concentration from whatever he's doing - it's nothing Minho's never seen before, none of it. But, for some reason, it's different this time. This time there is something about the way Donghae's hair is tousled, brown and unbrushed with flyaways sticking up at odd angles; something about the way he's slouched into the back of the couch, legs spread wide and black track pants low on his hips, with the elastic of his red Calvin Kleins peeking over the edge; or something about the way his shirt - pale blue and soft-looking cotton, a smidgen too small from the wash and from his new workout regiment - bunches under his arms and over his stomach. Maybe it's the way his eyes are hazy and half-lidded, sleepy still, and his mouth is pink and wet from the swipe of his tongue, or the way his bare toes curl, one foot flat on the ground and the other foot hitched up against the side of the couch.

Minho stares at him, everything he's seen before suddenly seeming brand new and different. A wave of arousal hits him out of nowhere, tingles of awakening feeling sparking under his skin as he takes in Donghae in front of him.

"Hey hyung," he says as his brain slowly catches up with his body.

He suppresses a shiver as his stomach tightens in reaction to Donghae's smile, wide and genuine. Kyuhyun grunts out a barely-intelligible hello and mashes at some buttons lazily, apparently making little effort at the game. Donghae is losing, Minho guesses, especially now that he's distracted.

Donghae doesn't really seem to care though, freeing one hand to wave Minho over to the couch.

And as his brain continues to catalog and process Minho's physical reaction, Minho feels the long press of heat along his side, the sleepy warmth of Donghae's body seeping into him. His mouth goes a little dry, his heart rate picks up, and Minho stares stupidly at the even row of white teeth in front of his face as Donghae grins at him.

The grin fades as Donghae's expression melts into one of puzzlement. He knocks his shoulder against Minho's, a silent question.

Minho can't find his voice as body parts south of his brain stir in interest at the proceedings.

And that's when his brain finally catches up.

Shit, he thinks, because liking Donghae was never supposed to be a problem. And it wasn't. Until now.

"'s nothing," he mutters and hops right back up to his feet. "What d'you guys have to drink? Do you have Coke?" He heads towards the kitchen, trying not to look frantic in his subtle slip-away. "Do you guys want anything to drink?" He's safely out of sight by the time he throws the question over his shoulder at Donghae and Kyuhyun, trying to slow the wild beat of his chest.

Getting hard while sitting right next to Donghae? Because of Donghae?

Bad idea. Far too close of a call.

Maybe it's Minho's fault for being lulled into a false sense of security with his body - he's a healthy teenager with all corresponding bodily functions. His body likes sex. It likes to get horny at random and inopportune moments. Minho has no idea how he convinced himself to believe his like of Donghae was more than platonic but less than sexual, when at his age, pretty much any interest is sexual. The two just come hand-in-hand. Or...dick-in-hand. Or something like that.

Minho resists the urge to thump his forehead against the refrigerator and groan.

Instead, he presses the heel of his palm against his half-hard dick and thanks god he wore his baggy, comfortable jeans today.

If today's revelation is any indication, he will be needing to wear a lot of baggy pants around Donghae in the future.

Of course, Minho is an idol in a boy band whose very style concept seems to revolve around bizarrely-patterned, blindly-matched tight outfits.

Minho grabs a Coke from the fridge, pops open the tab, and drinks it down like it's alcohol. He kind of wishes it were. Because he likes Donghae, and Donghae likes him, and that's great, except that Donghae likes him platonically while Minho likes Donghae in a way where numerous hard-ons at inappropriate times seems very likely in his future. His life, Minho thinks with great eloquence born of massive suffering, sucks.


So, okay, it wasn't a big deal originally. And now it is kind of a little bit bigger of a deal than it might have been if Minho's dick hadn't gotten interested in the proceedings.

Minho still manages to carry on normally most of the time and he carefully trains himself to think of disgusting things whenever Donghae gets too close so he's yet, thankfully, run into an occasion where he's had to explain that, no, he doesn't have a microphone in his pants, he's just happy to see Donghae.

It's not necessarily fun, especially when it makes Minho look kind of stupid whenever he's around Donghae - flirting and hanging all over him half the time and then making faces and pulling away the other half of the time. He can't really explain the gross images in his brain, after all, without really going into an explanation of why he finds it necessary to picture those gross things.

For the most part, though, Donghae remains oblivious and cheerful and as platonically-enamored of Minho as ever.

Jonghyun also starts laughing at random, seemingly inexplicable intervals, and Minho knows it's at him, but thankfully the jerk has the wherewithal not to broadcast it to the world.

It's possible Eunhyuk also suspects but he's yet to say anything about it.

So it's not a ton of fun to start having sexual fantasies involving Donghae and then having to abruptly cut them off or treat them with images of maggots crawling over three-week-old food, no, but Minho's dealing. He's dealing just fine.


Someone should have warned Minho, however, that alcohol would always screw things up.


Tags: crossover: shinee/suju: minho/donghae, shinee, super junior
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