[Super Junior] Now For Your Weekly Paradigm Shift, PG, Humor, QMi

This is for transitorial and everyone else who has been feeling kind of :| towards kpop recently. I wrote this last night, went out, and came back to (my part of) fandom kind of falling to pieces...so this is a feel-good pick-me-up, because we need a break from the drama. Oh SJM, at least we still have you. (And your hilarious variety shows you better be airing soon.)

Another of the many fics that is partly inspired by the fancam of Kyu laughing hysterically at Mi. ♥ True love, you guys!

Now For Your Weekly Paradigm Shift
Super Junior (M), Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun, ninja pairings, PG, 3250 words
Henry is tired of the world shifting under his feet and messing with his head.


Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun have been fighting.

Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun have been fighting, and it has kind of been throwing Henry's entire world off its axis (and he is really not a fan of that). "I didn't know it was possible for them to fight," he says to Ryeowook, his eyes wide. "I mean. Like. Really?"

Ryeowook frowns slightly but pats his hand sympathetically all the same. "You know no two people have a perfect relationship. There are always ups and downs..."

Henry says, "But it's Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun," disbelieving.

"I know what you mean," Han Geng says with a roll of his eyes, sinking back into the couch. "That was my reaction the first time I saw Donghae and Hyukjae fight. I thought it was inconceivable until it happened. They basically share the same brain - how could they fight?"

Ryeowook nods slowly. "I guess I can understand. I was so surprised the first time Heechul-hyung and Han Geng-hyung fought."

Han Geng and Henry stare at him. He looks back, perplexed.

"But it's Heechul," Han Geng says, as if that explains everything.

"Anyone could fight with Heechul-hyung," Henry says at the same time. "But this is Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun."

Ryeowook frowns a little harder. "I don't understand what you mean. Han Geng-hyung and Heechul-hyung are very good friends."

Henry gives up and Han Geng just closes his eyes and puts his head back against the couch with an expression that says he has a mild headache. From the other end of the apartment, they can faintly hear Kyuhyun and Donghae's laughter. Zhou Mi is helping Siwon practice Chinese, because Han Geng asserted leader privileges in needing a "fucking night off, thank you very much". Siwon pouted until Zhou Mi volunteered, and Kyuhyun watched the two of them disappear without a word, even though it was usually him accompanying Zhou Mi for language exercises.

"Language exercises", Henry thinks, adding quotations, because, yeah. Okay, he's just going to stop that thought there, for his sanity's sake.

"It's unnatural. How can they be fighting?" he asks again, lost.

--

It started a month ago.

Henry didn't notice back then because, well, to be honest? He doesn't pay that much attention to Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi. They're nice and Kyuhyun is fun to play games with (even when he trounces Henry at the Wii occasionally - occasionally), and Zhou Mi is always smiling and helpful if Henry needs advice but... But Henry usually hangs out with Ryeowook and Donghae, and jokes around with Siwon and Han Geng. It's just the pattern their dynamic has fallen into, naturally, and he's never really made painstaking efforts to change it up. Besides, Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi are typically off in their own little world, always whispering things to each other whether they're on camera or on stage or in the van or wherever. It's their thing.

Henry kind of just accepted that. So he didn't notice that their thing got a little fucked up somewhere along the way about a month ago. He's not entirely sure why (he feels like he would have a better idea if he was paying attention from the start but, you know, since he wasn't, he can only work off what he knows) but he has his suspicions. He has seen the way Sungmin looks at Kyuhyun and the talk of how they used to be close, and Henry is positive that if he's heard about it, then Zhou Mi certainly must have, being around Kyuhyun all the time and such.

And when they're back in Korea for some activities and the Asia Song Festival in particular, Henry definitely notes the downturn of Zhou Mi's mouth (because it's weird, okay? Henry doesn't really go around staring at guys' mouths all the time, however big a pastime that apparently is in Korea or whatever, but Zhou Mi is almost always smiling or laughing, or on the verge of it, and an unhappy Zhou Mi is kind of like...kind of like a Donghae that capable of not flirting with fans - inconceivable). He doesn't miss the way Kyuhyun tries to talk to him quietly on their own, either, and how it doesn't seem well-received. And that, even still, Kyuhyun is laughing and happy when they are in Korea, joking and mischievous, more so than usual. And Sungmin sure is smiling.

Okay, so Sungmin is a nice guy and Henry likes him a lot, but he can't help but feel a sort of unqualified resentment towards him for ruining this Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun thing that Henry's gotten used to. He doesn't appreciate his world being moved under his feet. He had enough of that culture shock when he first came to Korea and he has finally started becoming comfortable with all this skinship and friendly touching and unbridled proclamations of love, love, love, everywhere he turns. Trying to throw him off his game now is just not on.

So Henry is a little chilly to Sungmin when they are in Korea and Sungmin looks a little hurt; they have always been good friends and Henry feels a little guilty...but then they perform Super Girl during the Asia Song Festival and the screams for Zhou Mi are not as loud as they should be (though Henry's are finally as loud as the other members', and he feels a little warm in his chest area at this, but he's not going to admit it, because he is a man), and Zhou Mi is not smiling as much as he should be, and then Henry doesn't feel that guilty about ignoring Sungmin to talk to Amber instead.

("Ooh, girl," says his hormones.

"Looks like a boy," says his mind, a little panicked.

"Look," says Amber, before his mouth can actually say anything, "I'm kind of taken, okay? It's complicated. Let's just be friends.")

--

Henry's theories of conspiracy might partly be Donghae's fault. It's a result of sitting next to each other on the constant flights between Seoul and Beijing, Seoul and Shanghai, Seoul and Hong Kong, with nothing else to occupy them when sleep comes hard and his head just needs a break from music. So he and Donghae talk, about everything from soccer (that Henry doesn't follow because who follows soccer?) and basketball (Henry is predictably a Raptors fan) to girls and childhood escapades (Henry broke his arm when he fell off a tree, but Donghae broke his arm when he crashed his bike into his brother, a trash can, and then a wall; Henry concedes that Donghae probably wins this one). They eventually start gossiping about the relationships of the members because, well, it's interesting and Henry has a lot to catch up on.

Donghae tells him wisely, "Heechul is madly in love with Han Geng-hyung, but Han Geng has a mad crush on Siwon, who just wants Heechul to pay attention to him."

Henry says, aptly, "That sucks."

"Kangin is dating this actor chick, Shindong's had a girlfriend since high school, and Yesung keeps seeing someone but no one knows who. But he's starting to smoke less!" Donghae grins and then leans over and adds, "And Sungmin is still pretty hung up over Kyuhyun."

Henry makes an expression that might look a little like >:| and whispers fiercely, "But Kyuhyun loves Zhou Mi, right? Right?"

Donghae just raises an eyebrow at him, mysterious, and sits back in his seat.

Henry spends the rest of the flight pretending he didn't just indulge in gossip like his little sister, then getting distracted by how jealous she would be if she could know what he knew, and then resolving to fix Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi so his world isn't spinning off-kilter anymore. It's starting to make him feel a little nauseated.

--

Kyuhyun is talking to Sungmin on the phone and Zhou Mi is somewhere else and Henry thinks that this is not okay.

He enlists Siwon and Donghae's help without really telling them what they're helping with, which leads to him wasting ten minutes trying to convince Siwon that what they're doing is not illegal, Jesus, what does he take Henry for? And then there's another five minutes gone as Donghae tries to convince him that they need walkie-talkies, and by the time Siwon talks him out of that, Henry realizes that he's misplaced Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi both.

He finds them behind Kyuhyun's locked door and doesn't know what to do with the reply, "We're just talking, see you at dinner!" when he bangs on the door.

He blinks. Maybe they'll sort out their own problem. That would be great. That would save him so much work!

Henry gives the door one last look, part-suspicious and part-hopeful. This better not be something else that turns out messing with his world order.

--

"Are they still fighting?" Ryeowook asks him later that week. He looks concerned.

"I'm not sure," Henry says. "I think so?" He hasn't seen much of Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun lately, strangely, considering that they live together. But the times he has seen them, even though they are talking again, quiet words in quiet corners, Zhou Mi doesn't look any happier.

It is still messing with his head.

He flops back onto the couch and puts his feet on Han Geng's lap.

"Is this how you treat your leader?" he asks dryly.

"Aren't you supposed to look after the well-being of your members?" Henry returns. Han Geng pinches him and Henry squirms. "Ge!" he exclaims. "I'm serious. Fix Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun. I'm tired of them fighting and I'm tired of trying to fix them. I don't know how to do it. It's so hard. Why are relationships so hard?" He groans to emphasize his point.

"Because you're young and a brat," Han Geng tells him, laughing. "Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun will be fine, just like Hyukjae and Donghae were fine."

"And how Han Geng-hyung and Heechul-hyung are fine," Ryeowook puts in.

Han Geng and Henry look at him again, and he still doesn't understand that it's not weird for Han Geng and Heechul to fight. Henry sometimes thinks Ryeowook's just too good-hearted to be true, but it's kind of cute, and Henry doesn't really want to be responsible for screwing that up. So he keeps his mouth shut, since Han Geng doesn't look like he's going to say anything either.

"But," says Henry, focusing on his point, "Hyukjae and Donghae aren't. You know. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun."

"Compelling argument," Han Geng says, deadpan.

"You know what I mean!"

"What do you mean?" Han Geng is just dragging this out to be sadistic, that jerk. Henry takes it back; he has no idea how Han Geng and Heechul could ever argue, when they, too, share one brain.

"You know." He waves a hand around in the air, vaguely describing circles of life or the interconnectedness of Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun. "Married and shit."

There is a moment of silence.

"This is true," Han Geng concedes. "I've never seen Hyukjae and Donghae make out like Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun do."

"What?" Ryeowook gasps, coming to his feet. "You've seen them kiss? Hyung! You shouldn't intrude on private moments like that!"

Henry always knew Han Geng was a dirty old man.

Han Geng glares at both of them. "I meant figuratively."

"How do you make out figuratively?" Henry demands, figuring it's his turn to give Han Geng a hard time. "Is it kind of like the way you and Siwon make out figuratively?"

Ryeowook slaps a hand over his mouth as he starts to laugh. Han Geng adopts an expression that says he hates them both and that they are getting the smallest portions for dinner. It might be more believable if it isn't Ryeowook who will be cooking them dinner.

Henry sighs as his amusement fades. Dinner is always an awkward affair, since Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun are fighting. He is so tired of this.

It's then that he comes to a decision.

He is tired of this and he is going to change it. He is going to hold responsible parties responsible, and make them deal with this shit.

--

"Hyung, you just have to accept the fact that he doesn't love you anymore, okay? I know it's hard and I know it sucks but you can't just keep getting in the middle of his new relationship - that is just not cool, man, not cool at all. And, anyway, if you really loved him, wouldn't you want him to be happy? He's happy with Zhou Mi! Zhou Mi is happy with him! Except when they fight, because then Zhou Mi stops smiling and, god, that's so fucking weird, when he's unhappy, so please, hyung, stop messing with them so they'll go back to doing their thing, and the world can stop messing with my head."

Henry finishes breathlessly and waits for Sungmin's reply.

"I can't decide to be touched at how worried you are for Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi or annoyed at what a little bitch you've been to me," Sungmin says after a long moment. He sounds faintly amused, or maybe that's faintly irritated? The connection is not so good. "And to assume that I would try to mess up their relationship? How little you think of me, Henry..."

"Er," says Henry. "Have you not been?"

"No!"

Goddammit, there's another part of his world that is tilting off-axis. He is so tired of this. And now it looks like he's offended his first friend in Korea.

"I'm sorry I thought badly of you," he offers lamely. "Um. It was Donghae's fault?"

Sungmin snorts and then he laughs for real. He sounds less irritated when he speaks again. "Many things are, I've discovered. I'm still annoyed at you but I'll let it pass. And, by the way," he adds, "Kyuhyun and I aren't messing around behind Zhou Mi's back. I don't think they're even fighting."

What?

"What?" Henry shakes his phone a little, sure he's heard wrong. He pulls it away from his ear to look at it in disbelief, then puts it back. "Then why is Zhou Mi so...so...not smiley?"

Sungmin laughs again, long and loud. His voice is really nice, Henry thinks, and then he does a mental facepalm because, no, he's not going down this road. Henry Lau does not stare at guys' lips and he does not think that guys are cute and he definitely doesn't think that guys have nice voices when they laugh. Even if it's all the rage in Korea, it is not for him. He's not getting sucked into this.

"I don't think it's my place to tell," Sungmin says, but Henry knows it's just a formality, because Sungmin is definitely going to tell him. Henry picked up his gossiping tendencies from somewhere, you know.

"Zhou Mi's just been feeling a little down lately because he kind of had an unmanly moment a month ago."

Henry waits, because there has to be more. Zhou Mi's life is made of unmanly moments, from the moment he wakes up and washes his face with peach-scented face wash and puts on skinny black-and-white checked pants to when he flirts with Kyuhyun all day long and screams at little bugs and, yeah. All that. This has to be a significant unmanly moment that Sungmin's talking about.

"He couldn't get it up for Kyuhyun one night," Sungmin reports sunnily. He sounds, Henry notes, exceptionally cheerful. Perhaps he isn't completely over Kyuhyun, even if he's not messing with Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun's...thing, whatever it is.

Then Henry processes the words and all alarms sound in his head, blaring loud DO NOT WANTs. "I'm pretty sure I never needed to know that, hyung!" he yelps.

Sungmin's laugh might be a little evil. "We're even now," he says sweetly. "I forgive you for thinking badly of me."

Henry ends the call as quickly as possible, but he's not sure it's fast enough to save his sanity.

--

"Did you figure out why they were fighting?" Han Geng asks Henry.

"No!" yells Henry. "Why do I have to be the one who does everything around here?" He flees to the safety of Siwon's side and clings to him and lets Siwon cuddle him and call him cute, because it is too sickening a display for Han Geng to bear, so he will stay a safe distance away and not continue to interrogate Henry about something he has done his very best to forget, thank you very much.

--

A few days later, they film Day Day Up, and Zhou Mi's voice cracks in the most unmanly fashion near the end of their performance of Blue Tomorrow. Kyuhyun practically cries with laughter, actually sinking his knees after waving Ryeowook desperately with his mic, begging him to finish the song as Kyuhyun can't even breathe, much less sing his line.

Henry shifts nervously beside Zhou Mi and tries his best not to be curious at all, because, really, he probably doesn't want to know. That's why he stays at the other end of the dressing room once they all go backstage and Siwon is asking Kyuhyun if he's okay and Donghae is demanding to know what the hell's wrong with him and Ryeowook is trying to reassure Zhou Mi that it's okay, it happens to all of them.

Kyuhyun starts laughing again, so hard he starts turning a little red, and even Henry is a little concerned at the way he can't seem to stand up, leaning into Zhou Mi's shoulder, with an arm wrapped around his waist.

"Seriously," Donghae says, "what the fuck is wrong with him." He looks questioningly at Zhou Mi, who looks like he wants to die.

"Nothing, it's nothing," Kyuhyun gasps between his laughter and they all figure they'll never pry it out of him (Kyuhyun is just Kyuhyun that way, a little bizarre and kind of just a bastard sometimes) so they drift off to do their own respective outfit changes.

With his shirt over his head, Henry overhears, much to his dismay, Kyuhyun talking to Zhou Mi. "...can't believe you just got over your last unmanly moment last night," and he can hear the leer in Kyuhyun's voice, and that is not okay because Henry knows they have this thing, but he really does not need to know just how explicit their thing is, "and today you have your next unmanly moment. And like that! Oh Mimi..." There is soft affection laced with the laughter in Kyuhyun's voice and Henry would think it cute (but he doesn't do that kind of thing) if it weren't also scarring and sickening at the same time.

His world may never tilt back on axis, he thinks miserably, tugging his shirt down properly. It's not fair.

--

"Hey," Ryeowook says, tugging on Henry's hand with his own. He turns worried eyes on Henry and Henry is momentarily distracted by how pretty his eyes are for a guy... ("Dammit, Henry Lau!" he yells at himself mentally. "I give up on you. Do as you will.")

He blinks and refocuses and says, "What's up?"

"Do you think Siwon and Han Geng-hyung are fighting?" Ryeowook asks, an unhappy downturn to his lips.

Henry says, very immediately and very definitively, "I. Don't. Care."

He refuses to, and no one can make him, and he valiantly ignores all the "fighting" he can hear through the thin hotel walls.



--

Started/Finished: 2009.10.15