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26 July 2009 @ 01:48 am
[Super Junior] Sock Wars, PG, crack/humor, bandfic (various)  
Because Super Junior socks exist, and I have a pair of Kyuhyun and a pair of Sungmin socks, and I was totally going to make them make-out. So spawns the crack. Yeah, I don't know. Pretty much every pairing under the sun can be ninja!ed from this, plus my blatant biases.

Sock Wars
Super Junior, bandfic (various), PG, 1050 words
Pairing wars come in all shapes and sizes: including in sock form.


Sock Wars
by meiface

One day, Donghae bursts into the room and announces gleefully, "I AM WEARING HYUKJAE ON MY FEET."

Hyukjae stares at him, appalled. Ryeowook blinks and asks, "Sorry?"

Heechul stares at the foot Donghae proudly wiggles at them, pant leg pulled up, and a slow grin spreads across his face. "Brilliant! Our socks are finally out!"

--

It's Heechul who starts it, because it always is. No one notices at first, though.

"I bought you a pair of socks, Kangin-ah," he sings, sashaying his way into Kangin's room and cheerfully flinging the aforementioned socks at the back of Kangin's head.

"What the fuck," Kangin says, turning around with a glare as the socks fall to the ground.

"Don't say I'm not a good hyung." Heechul waggles his fingers at the socks and then leaves the room with just as little ceremony. Kangin stares after him in confusion for a moment before switching his gaze to the ground. On the floor of his room are a pair of Eeteuk socks.

--

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Yesung demands as Heechul wrestles him to the ground and sits on him.

"TAKE THEM OFF," he orders imperiously, one hand hovering over Yesung's face so he won't sit up suddenly to an effort to dislodge Heechul. "Siwon! Listen to your hyung! Come here and take those socks off."

"But," Siwon protests.

"Don't be such a wuss! It's not like it's Hyukjae's feet I'm asking you to touch!"

Hankyung muffles his laughter as Siwon tentatively approaches Yesung and looks dubiously down at his feet, encased in familiar character socks. Donghae socks, he notes, as Heechul tells Siwon to get on with it.

"If you're going to wear our socks," Heechul lectures Yesung later, after Yesung is finally let up, barefoot, "you have to wear appropriate ones. Dumbass. Donghae socks are not made for people like you."

Hankyung wonders whom Heechul deems worthy of wearing Donghae socks but knows, from experience, that it's better not to ask.

--

Sungmin is discovered wearing Kyuhyun socks, and Heechul beams so brightly at him, even Sungmin is confused. It only heightens as Heechul spends the rest of the day doting on him.

--

Maybe unsurprisingly, it is Donghae who catches on first. Perhaps because only he, of all the other members, even begins to operate on the same wavelength of logic that Heechul does.

He chortles and smirks all day until Eeteuk finally, almost reluctantly, asks why he's smiling.

"I'm wearing HanChul socks," he reports with a grin, and indeed, he is wearing a Heechul sock on his left foot and a Hankyung sock on his right.

It takes everyone else another few days, but then everyone gets it.

--

"SHICHUL FOREVER," Shindong yells, bursting into the room with a fighting pose.

"No way," Sungmin gasps. "SHIHAN FOREVER."

"That's stupid," Kyuhyun says, annoyed. "Everyone can tell that Heechul-hyung and Hankyung-hyung have a thing."

"WHAT ABOUT KANGCHUL?" Kangin demands, sticking out the foot with the Kangin sock and waving it around.

Eeteuk passes by and shoves him so he loses his balance. "Moron."

--

"Wait," says Hyukjae, frowning over the socks in his drawers and flipping through the options in his hands. "HyukMin? EunHae? EunTeuk?"

"ShiHyuk?" Siwon suggests helpfully, dimpling.

Hyukjae blushes.

--

"I wish I had three feet," Donghae says despondently, staring at the socks laid out on the ground in front of him.

Kibum rolls his eyes.

"I love Heechul-hyung, but I love Hyukjae too, and what am I supposed to do if I can't keep you around?" Donghae makes sad eyes at Kibum.

"Just don't wear me, hyung," Kibum tells him, going back to his book. He's the only one who hasn't participated in this ridiculous sock war. Donghae's expression falls. Maybe Kibum doesn't care at all. Maybe he won't even care if Donghae wears Heechul and Hyukjae - except that would kind of be supporting CinHyuk and that's sort of weird, even to Donghae.

"Kibummie--"

Wordlessly, Kibum shifts his position and leans back in his chair, stretching his feet before him. Donghae blinks at his feet, because he is wearing a Kibum sock and a Donghae sock.

Maybe, Donghae thinks, delighted, Kibum hasn't participated in this whole sock war because he didn't have any doubts or questions about who should be worn with whom.

--

"Wait," Ryeowook says, holding up a hand. There's pandemonium going on in his room as Yesung flings through his socks for a pair of Heechul, determined for some sort of revenge or other. Donghae seems to be looking for a pair of Eeteuk socks and the left Kibum sock he swears someone stole from his foot the night before. Other members are sprawled around, shouting about pairing wars and Kyuhyun can be heard muttering about the lack of Zhou Mi and Henry socks.

"What?" Hankyung asks kindly, because everyone else is busy being crazy and not listening.

Ryeowook smiles at him. "I was wondering...since Heechul-hyung is the one who came up with this idea...who are his sock pairings? Maybe that will put all these wars to rest."

It's a good idea, but no one wants to be the one to ask Heechul.

In the end, they dispatch Zhou Mi.

"You don't have character socks and he likes you," Eeteuk reasons, trying to look earnest and not like he's sending off a lamb to the wolves.

Zhou Mi just grins at them and agrees. "I'll be back with a detailed report!" he promises.

--

Heechul, in typical Heechul fashion, refuses to tell him anything. "I just wanted sock wars," he says airily. "It's funny. I don't care what people end up wearing, really."

--

When Zhou Mi reports back to the other members, he says, "Heechul-hyung says from now on, he is only going to wear Yunho socks."

Suddenly, half the members are falling over themselves. "There are Dong Bang socks," Hyukjae gasps. "I forgot! I am totally going to wear that smelly ugly-faced Junsu on my feet and step on him."

When Heechul hears of the pandemonium later, he can't stop grinning. "Seasoning!" he coos, utterly besotted as he wraps his arms around Zhou Mi. "You are such a little prodigy! Creating havoc on your own. You're my favorite."

Hankyung and Siwon exchange looks and settle, at last, on ShiHan socks.




--

Started/Finished: 2009.07.26
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
 
没有你日子很黑白papered on July 26th, 2009 06:50 am (UTC)
One day, Donghae bursts into the room and announces gleefully, "I AM WEARING HYUKJAE ON MY FEET."



ACTUALLY SCREAMS.
没有你日子很黑白papered on July 26th, 2009 06:52 am (UTC)
"If you're going to wear our socks," Heechul lectures Yesung later, after Yesung is finally let up, barefoot, "you have to wear appropriate ones. Dumbass. Donghae socks are not made for people like you."

HEECHUL I LOVE HIM
(no subject) - papered on July 26th, 2009 06:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - papered on July 26th, 2009 06:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - papered on July 26th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 06:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 06:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 06:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
Xxiao_baka on July 26th, 2009 06:55 am (UTC)
Maybe, Donghae thinks, delighted, Kibum hasn't participated in this whole sock war because he didn't have any doubts or questions about who should be worn with whom.

lksajfd kl<33333
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: kihae = gaymeiface on July 26th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC)
cries, my biases. THEY ARE NOT SUBTLE AT ALL.
(Deleted comment)
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your headmeiface on July 26th, 2009 07:04 am (UTC)
Crack is so much easier to write than porn, at least with 15 members. :( adlkfjdls damn you, SJ!
niña: glasses haejumper_on on July 26th, 2009 07:15 am (UTC)
BEST. FIC. EVER. ;____________________;

you like seriously dislodged halcyon_morn's hot and awkward eunhae from the top spot.

i love you. and i think i've never wanted to buy 13/15/18 pairs of socks more in my entire life.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: lee donghaemeiface on July 26th, 2009 07:25 am (UTC)
Omg, how does this crackfic dislodge Chris's totally amazing porn? God that fic was the one that spawned the epic image of Donghae in black boxer-briefs and cross...mm...:9 Okay, distracted.

But, in all honesty, I'm super glad you liked this, haha. SJ crackfics are fun to write.
I AM SHAMELESS - jumper_on on July 26th, 2009 08:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I AM SHAMELESS - meiface on July 26th, 2009 08:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I AM SHAMELESS - jumper_on on July 26th, 2009 08:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I AM SHAMELESS - meiface on July 26th, 2009 09:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
i'll be in my bunk OTL - meiface on July 26th, 2009 09:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - jumper_on on July 26th, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - meiface on July 26th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - jumper_on on July 26th, 2009 10:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - meiface on July 26th, 2009 10:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - jumper_on on July 26th, 2009 11:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - meiface on July 26th, 2009 11:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - jumper_on on July 27th, 2009 09:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - meiface on July 27th, 2009 12:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: i'll be in my bunk OTL - jumper_on on July 27th, 2009 11:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I AM SHAMELESS - mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 09:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I AM SHAMELESS - jumper_on on July 27th, 2009 11:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I AM SHAMELESS - mondaythe26th on July 28th, 2009 03:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
KIHAE IS REAL - jumper_on on July 28th, 2009 07:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halcyon_morn on July 26th, 2009 12:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 12:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jumper_on on July 26th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
judy: (khr) how deliciousshorebird on July 26th, 2009 07:28 am (UTC)
THIS IS SO CUTE AND HILARIOUS :D they should have henry and zhou mi socks too ):
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: china pride: sujumanmeiface on July 26th, 2009 08:32 am (UTC)
BECAUSE SJ IS CUTE AND HILARIOUS, AMIRITE? :D Maybe one day they will have Henry and Mi socks. I hope so!
・кяуѕтℓє: jun crack!genkitelch on July 26th, 2009 07:32 am (UTC)
this makes me wanna play around with those socks, too. XD
i wanna wear a KiHae. or a HanChul, haha

"I'm wearing HanChul socks,"
"SHICHUL FOREVER," - Shindong
"SHIHAN FOREVER." - Sungmin
"Everyone can tell that Heechul-hyung and Hankyung-hyung have a thing."


LMAO!

andddd. i can't stop smiling at that bit of KangTeuk over there. ^__^

it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: kangteuk = otpmeiface on July 26th, 2009 08:34 am (UTC)
I do ship KT and ShiHanChul ...and slipping in all the other ninja pairings was just fun. SJ gives us a lot of options!
b r i ♥ *loveslipped on July 26th, 2009 07:42 am (UTC)
I really want a bunch of SJ socks now.

The little bit of Sihyuk was cute, but I have a ton of favorite parts haha.

Every pairing and your biases

I love your Mi :'D
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: cheap whoremeiface on July 26th, 2009 08:38 am (UTC)
I don't get ShiHyuk at all, but they are kind of cute, and I know random people who like them? /throws in ninja!pairings all over :D

I love Mi in general, omg~
(no subject) - loveslipped on July 26th, 2009 10:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
thank you for letting me wear your underwear.vanillacat on July 26th, 2009 07:51 am (UTC)
OH MY GOODNESS. I was on chineseink and then I read the FratBoy AU and then I came back and this was here! IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS, REALLY. *_*

anyway. the only character socks i was able to find at the not-so-local korean supermarket (there are two that are closer, but i'm fairly certain neither sell them. still though.. i have 3 korean supermarkets within 15 miles of me. and i don't even live in NYC or CA! LIFE IS GOOD. /off-topic tangent) were one pair of yoochun (ironic, considering yoochun probably prowled that very supermarket years ago), several SNSD (this was pre-gee, so they weren't popular) and a bunch of random comedians. D: and het sock wars are awkward... never mind that the socks were supposed to be gifts for people for LAST christmas.. i need to go look again and see if they have SJ ones :DDDD

this is crack and amazing and cinhae brain!logic and wonderful <3 i love that shihan just give up on heechul completely, and that ryeowook and kyu never really participate (henwook! qmi! jnfckjngkfjn;!! I WOULD WEAR QMI SOCKS EVERY DAY IF THEY EXISTED) and. gosh. for someone that does Srs Bzness so well, you do Crack fantastically too. *_* ... this comment makes no sense and has lots of tangents and paranthesis, i apologize. D:
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: retarded kpop boysmeiface on July 26th, 2009 08:40 am (UTC)
alkdjf tangential comments for the win, haha. ♥ I don't have any Korean markets near me back at home/school, woe, at least none that sell character socks. The ones I have are from Korea and they were sadly lacking in my favorites - but it's okay, I can just write crack drabbles about them, haha.

SO YES IN CONCLUSION, I AM GLAD YOU LIKED THE CRACK ABOUT SOCK PAIRING WARS. :D
{ howling at the autumn moon  }+{ s h i g u r e }hyperballad on July 26th, 2009 08:20 am (UTC)
I LOVE YOU IN THE FACE.

I LOVE YOU IN THE FACE SO HARD.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: ot13meiface on July 26th, 2009 08:25 am (UTC)
Does loving me in the face entail finishing that fic of yours? :D ♥

TY FOR THE SOCKS BTW. CLEARLY THEY INSPIRED MUCH GOODNESS CRACK.
(no subject) - hyperballad on July 26th, 2009 09:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 09:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
dancing in the wind.: 동방신기 ☆彡 rising gods ; against everythingarrowlights on July 26th, 2009 08:25 am (UTC)
DYING. omg. HAHAHA. I HAVE ALL OF THE DONGBANG SOCKS. HAHAHAHA. i think i almost choked laughing.

UM, I LOVE ZHOU MI.
dancing in the wind.: henry lau ☆彡 violin dancearrowlights on July 26th, 2009 08:26 am (UTC)
and i want to buy 15 pairs of socks now. >:
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 08:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - arrowlights on July 26th, 2009 09:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 09:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - arrowlights on July 26th, 2009 09:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 09:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
☆ dreamer: key; oh!holdmeifyouwant on July 26th, 2009 08:31 am (UTC)
"ShiHyuk?" Siwon suggests helpfully, dimpling.

LMAO THIS WAS SO MY FAVOURITE LINE. IDEKY. And Donghae wanting three feet :3. Only he would say something like that.
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: biasbiasbiasmeiface on July 26th, 2009 08:40 am (UTC)
I love Donghae. :D /old news
(no subject) - holdmeifyouwant on July 26th, 2009 08:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 08:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - holdmeifyouwant on July 26th, 2009 09:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 09:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - holdmeifyouwant on July 26th, 2009 09:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
the frumious Bandersnatch!forochel on July 26th, 2009 09:28 am (UTC)
I APPROVE OF YOUR BIASES!!!!
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: retarded kpop boysmeiface on July 26th, 2009 10:02 am (UTC)
I APPROVE OF DONGHAE, FOREVER.

I mean aslkdjfds lol socks. :'D /amuses self
(no subject) - forochel on July 26th, 2009 10:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
—bonaMAMA✰~!mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 09:52 am (UTC)
I'm LOLing at this and at you. ;D
—bonaMAMA✰~!mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 09:58 am (UTC)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 10:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 10:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 10:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 10:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 10:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 26th, 2009 10:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 10:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - proudfoot on July 26th, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mondaythe26th on July 26th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
halcyon_mornhalcyon_morn on July 26th, 2009 12:44 pm (UTC)
Mei.

Mei.

I am on hiatus, but Mei? WTF ILU FOREVEEEEEEEEEEEEER. ♥
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: facepalmmeiface on July 26th, 2009 12:45 pm (UTC)
I MISS YOUUUU.

Also, I CAN'T WRITE PORN, HELP. How do you make it look so easy? ;_;
(no subject) - halcyon_morn on July 26th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meiface on July 27th, 2009 04:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - hoyah on July 27th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
verypleasures0_osez on July 26th, 2009 01:32 pm (UTC)
THAT ZHOU MI IS SO DEVIANT!!
it's weird to have a vibrating cat on your head: china pride: sujumanmeiface on July 27th, 2009 04:43 am (UTC)
haha, Heechul has trained him well!